


Why, He's a Man of Wax

by dahlstrom



Series: Forswear It, Sight [3]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 04:38:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9368234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dahlstrom/pseuds/dahlstrom
Summary: Part three of theForswear It, Sightseries. Eskild puts his guru hat back on for a discussion with Isak about Isak's insecurities about sex, and then they have The Condom Talk. Later, when Even is over, Isak puts their conversation to practical use. Enjoy! <3





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from _Romeo and Juliet,_ Act 1 Scene 3.

It’s three days after New Year’s when Isak remembers that he hasn't given Eskild one of his Christmas presents. Okay, it isn’t technically a gift as much as the return of a favor, or perhaps the righting of a wrong.

He knocks on Eskild’s bedroom door, and when Eskild calls for him to come in he does so with both hands behind his back and a sneaky little smile on his face. 

“I have something for you,” Isak says, drawing out the last word in a teasing voice. “It doesn’t smell like lavender, though. Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

“Both?” Eskild looks positively delighted and sets his open laptop aside. “As long as it won’t bite me.”

“Promise,” Isak replies. When Eskild has done as he asked, he carefully places the (comically large, really) bottle of lube into Eskild’s open palms, and waits until he knows Eskild has its weight before letting go.

“What the...”

“It’s a replacement,” Isak explains. “I--, well, _we_ borrowed yours.” He stops, recalculates. “Okay, stole it.”

Eskild looks from the bottle to Isak and back a couple of times with an incredulous expression. “I _wondered_ where that had gone! I knew I hadn’t finished it myself.” He hefts it onto his nightstand with a soft grunt and turns back to Isak, now smirking a little. “Have _you_ finished it?”

Isak drops his eyes to the floor. “Uh, yeah.” He shuffles his feet, trying with all his might not to blush, and glances back up at Eskild when he doesn’t respond. Eskild is now looking at him with narrowed eyes, and suddenly Isak realizes that he’s mentally calculating how much was left in the bottle the last time he saw it, and _when_ the last time he saw it actually was, and okay, Isak has no clue how to react if Eskild actually solves that equation. “Anyway, yeah, I just wanted to... you know. I didn’t know how to ask you, so I just. Yeah.”

Eskild sighs long and low, and leans back on his hands, gazing at Isak with an expression Isak cannot read at all. “Come sit,” Eskild says, patting the bed beside him.

Isak hesitates - he can’t help it. “Am I going to get another lecture? I know I should have just asked or bought my own, I’m sorry, I swear.”

“I’m not going to lecture you, chill. I just want to talk.” 

Still wary, Isak complies, perching on the very edge of the bed so he can get up and run if necessary.

“I’ve been really curious how that’s going for you,” Eskild begins, his voice soft. “I mean, I’m not deaf. We all know you and Even have been... busy. We just didn’t know exactly what...” He trails off, looking at Isak as if he wants him to finish the sentence, and this is so fucking not happening right now.

“I should have just left it for you with a note and fled the country,” Isak mumbles, covering his face with his hands.

Eskild laughs, but it sounds so affectionate that Isak drops his hands without really thinking about it. “I’m sorry! It’s not a totally pervy curiosity, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m genuinely concerned because I’m your friend. You can talk to me about this stuff, you know.”

Isak swallows, staring at him blankly. How could he have overlooked such a resource? 

“You said you two used the rest of the bottle. Did you buy another one for yourself when you got this one?”

He knows his face must be magenta by now, but he nods. “It was embarrassing enough buying one, so I decided I may as well get two and be done with it for a while.”

Eskild hums, nodding. “And... what have you guys done?”

Isak presses his lips together and holds his breath. Can he say this out loud, any of it? Why can’t it just exist behind his closed bedroom door, just as deeds witnessed only by Even and himself, deeds so intimate and so deep, so utterly wonderful that words could never really capture them?

“Again, not being a pervert. I don’t need details.”

That helps. Isak slowly exhales and replies quietly, “Well... we’ve done everything.”

Eskild’s expression shifts into something Isak can’t quite understand - it’s almost as though his eyes have glazed over with intense thought. Then his mouth drops open slightly and his head tips back a little, and it clicks for Isak at once - his definition of ‘everything’ most likely differs from Eskild’s by quite a bit. _What the fuck kind of gay hell fantasy dungeon is he imagining over there?_ He clears his throat loudly and adds, “I mean, we’ve-- we’ve done the basic everything. Just normal stuff. Blowjobs. And... the thing you need lube for.”

“You’ve fucked.” It’s not a question in the slightest.

“Yes,” Isak sighs, honestly wishing there were a hole in this room somewhere that he could crawl into. 

“Several times, I’m guessing. You finished the bottle, after all.”

Isak groans. “Who’s not being a pervert? What the--”

“Would you please chill?” Eskild almost snaps, but he’s laughing at the same time. “If this is making you uncomfortable--”

“You think?”

“Well, you did _steal_ my lube and ruin a perfectly good night with a tall, dark, and handsome financial advisor for me, you know.”

“So this is blackmail?”

Eskild sighs again, but this time it’s harsh and definitely steeped with hurt. “Isak, I just want to help, if I can. I care about you and I feel like you’re at least half my responsibility, seeing as how you ended up living here. But if my help isn’t wanted, that’s fine.”

That shuts Isak up. He doesn’t appreciate the guilt trip at all, but Eskild’s right. It’s not as though he can talk to his own father about this - or anyone else, for that matter. And it hits him with a shock just how much he really _does_ want to talk about it. He has questions and worries and a couple of very real fears, as well as that deep-seated human desire to share good news - he wants to be able to _gush_ about Even to someone. And if he can’t put everything he feels about the physical act of sex into words, he could at least wax poetic about how amazing Even’s kisses are, about how he actually forgets how to breathe when Even looks at him sometimes, about the way Even’s hands can glide so lightly over Isak’s skin it makes him shiver from down deep in his bones. 

He can’t talk to Jonas about that kind of thing. Not that he thinks Jonas would _mind,_ really, considering how receptive and kind he’s been about Even this entire time, but... no. He wouldn’t know where to begin with Jonas. He’s considered going to one of the girls, but he doesn't want to tread on Noora's broken heart by crowing about his own relationship, and his history with Eva is too complicated for Isak to feel comfortable discussing this too deeply with her yet. So it’s really best for him to test these particular waters with Eskild first. 

He has to start somewhere.

“Yes, several times,” Isak says softly, and then adds, “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting this conversation, is all. But I actually do want to talk about stuff, and I’m just realizing now that I kind of need to.”

“I know. It’s okay.” Eskild suddenly starts to smirk again, and he touches Isak’s knee lightly. “Seriously, I’m going to be toeing that perv line, so just tell me to quit it if I step over. But I lied before - I have to know _some_ details.”

“Okay, okay.” Isak shakes his head with a resolute laugh, and slides closer to Eskild, away from that precarious edge of the bed. “Fire away.”

“Okay, who does what?” Eskild asks eagerly. “Because - not that I’ve pictured it” --he widens his eyes significantly at Isak, who groans and covers his face again-- “but I really can’t figure out which of you would be a more natural bottom. Or natural top, for that matter. I can see it both ways?” He cocks his head at Isak, blinking at him in the most infuriating and inquisitive manner. “So spill.”

What the fuck has he gotten himself into? Isak takes a deep breath. “Both ways is... correct.”

“I knew it! I knew it, I knew it. Do you know yet which you like better?”

 _Jesus Christ._ Isak’s face goes bright red again, but he answers without stopping to think about it, because if he did, he may not answer at all. “I really don’t? I mean... we started out with me, you know. Topping, I guess.” Eskild lets out a sound that’s almost a low growl, and Isak gives him a sharp look. “Toeing that line, dude.”

“Sorry.”

“So we did that a few times. But then I just... I don’t really know what set it off. I just really wanted him to... you know.” He clears his throat, forcing himself to slow down. “So I asked, and he was totally okay with it, so we did, and... yeah.” He looks away, pressing his lips tight together, but a knowing little smile comes over his face anyway.

“Ahhh. And you _liked_ it.”

“I really, really did. I _do._ ” Isak has to take another deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to will himself to just be cool already, but he knows he’s past that point now. “Way more than I ever expected to.”

“So... do you just switch back and forth?” Eskild asks, and as he says it he’s shifting to lay on his stomach, elbows propped up, and stares up at Isak expectantly, clearly getting comfortable for a good long talk. 

Isak shrugs, nodding. “Pretty much. We don’t fuck every time, though. Sometimes we just do other stuff.”

“Like...?” Eskild prompts.

“Blowjobs.” And that is definitely something he wants to talk about, but probably not for the reasons Eskild’s hoping. Before he can go on, though, Eskild interrupts.

“Rimming?”

Isak frowns in confusion. “What’s-- what?”

Snorting, Eskild says, “Okay. Observe.” He forms a circle with his thumb and middle finger. “Ass,” he says, and then mimes poking the center of the circle with the index finger of his other hand. “Tongue.”

“Oh!” Okay, if a person’s face could literally explode with embarrassment, Isak is pretty sure he’s seconds away from it. He stammers for a moment and finally just nods. “Yeah. Yeah, he does that to me.”

Eskild’s eyebrows shoot up. “Wait, ‘does’? As in, this is an ongoing, regular thing?”

“Mmhmm.” That little smile creeps back over Isak’s face, and he presses his fingertips to his brow, half-covering his face. What the hell is this conversation?

“Oh. _Ooooh._ That is definitely something you like, don’t even try to hide it.”

“Shut up.”

“Never. And have you done it to him?”

Isak shakes his head. “I want to, but...” He clams up, unable to figure out how to say it.

But Eskild, bless him, seems to understand. “That’s a little too much for you, huh?”

Gratefully, Isak nods. “ _Yes._ Like, it feels incredible, just _so_ fucking good, and I want to make him feel that good too, but I just...” He gestures helplessly. The words simply won’t come, so he tries a different tack. “Okay, the first time I sucked his dick, it was kind of a disaster. I didn’t know what I was doing. I tried to remember what he’d done to me and copy it, but I just - I felt like I did everything wrong. I’m getting better at it, I think, but I still honestly don’t know. I could be terrible at it and he’s too polite to tell me.” Isak can't quite believe he's saying this much at once - he _really_ needed to get this out, apparently. “So I kind of feel like I should figure that out first before moving on to something more... advanced, I guess.”

Eskild has been listening very patiently, but Isak can tell he’s bursting to speak, and as soon as Isak stops talking for more than two seconds Eskild blurts out, “Are you an idiot?”

“What?”

“Sorry. Okay. I’ve had bad blowjobs before, believe me, but even a bad blowjob is better than no blowjob at all.” Eskild pauses, considering. “Well, except if your dick gets bitten off or something, but other than that, yeah.”

Isak just stares at him, his mind going a hundred different directions. “So even if I suck at it he won’t say anything? What kind of honest relationship is that?”

“Isak, calm down. I wasn't done. First of all, I really doubt you suck at it. I’ve seen you two kissing, and being a good kisser is half the battle, and you’re definitely a good kisser from what I can tell.”

Isak’s face flames red again, but he has to smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Second...” Eskild stops, shakes his head, and sighs. “I’ve never come anywhere _close_ to having what you two have. I’m actually kind of jealous. The emotional connection you guys share is just... Noora and I are in complete awe whenever we see you together. So that’s a huge, _huge_ part of it. Sex itself can be great if the two people know what they’re doing even a little bit, but if they care about each other? It’s amazing.” He shakes his head again, and his next words come out sounding almost bitter. “And if they love each other the way you and Even do, it’s got to be fucking mind-blowing. So I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” Eskild seems to gather himself together then, quickly giving Isak a sincere smile. “You just need to practice.”

Slightly stunned, Isak just nods. He’s out of words again, but Eskild has said it all. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Eskild nudges his knee playfully. “Did that help?”

“It really did,” Isak mumbles, his head still reeling a bit. “Um. There’s more I want to talk to you about, but I don’t really know how to say it right now.”

“Well, I’m always here. Whatever you need, seriously.” 

Isak is overcome with the desire to give him a hug, but their current positions would make that sort of difficult, so he just leans over to plant a quick kiss on Eskild’s cheek instead. “Thank you.”

Eskild gives him a decisive little nod, then sighs and glances back at the bottle of lube that had started this whole thing. “I’m sorry, I just have to ask - did you buy one the same size for yourself?”

“Yeah,” Isak says, laughing. “I mean, the store clerk probably already thought I was a perv, so I figured I’d make him think I was a 100% total perv instead of half-assing it.”

Both of them burst out laughing at that, and after a moment, when Eskild’s recovered slightly, he asks, “God, how many condoms did you get to go with it?”

That stops Isak in his tracks. His mouth goes dry, and all he can do is stare at Eskild, his mind utterly blank.

Eskild stares back at him. “What?”

“What?”

Eskild narrows his eyes at him. “Isak...” he says warningly. “You guys are using condoms, right?”

“Um.” 

“Isak!”

“What?! It’s not like either of us can get pregnant!”

“Jesus fucking Christ, _that’s not the only thing you use rubbers for!_ ” Eskild actually hisses the words at him, his eyes spitting pure fire. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“There’s nothing to worry about because I’ve never been with anybody else!” Isak snaps. “And he’s only been with Sonja!” 

For one terrifying second, Isak is convinced that the look Eskild is giving him means _Are you sure about that?_ And a blazing hot knife twists in Isak’s stomach at the very thought. He can’t comprehend, he can’t _bear_ the idea. So he pushes it away, actually physically shakes his whole body as if to ward off a curse. “Whatever. God.”

“I’m serious now,” Eskild says, his voice softer but still just as urgent. “I’m telling you this as your friend and hopefully mentor - you have to be safe. Okay? Get tested, at least.”

“Tested, Jesus.”

“Isak.”

“Fine! Okay, okay.” He knows he’s overreacting. Again. “Just... Jonas says he doesn’t like using condoms because it doesn’t feel as good.” 

Eskild rolls his eyes. “You’re such a baby. No, it’s not quite as... intense, but it’s not that much different.” Isak starts to protest, but Eskild cuts him off. “Okay, listen. You’re a 17-year-old boy, and this is the first time you’ve had sex with someone, so I’m gonna guess that you’re not lasting very long, are you?”

Once again, Eskild knows exactly what to say to stop every word dead in Isak’s throat. His mouth drops open in sheer indignation, but he just crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head, then shrugs as if to say what his voice won’t allow: _Screw you, what of it?_

“Okay,” Eskild continues, and he sounds much more patient now. “Wearing a condom will help with that.”

Wait.

“Really?” Isak asks, almost _squeaks._

“Mhm.”

Jonas had never mentioned that part. Isak makes a mental note to ask him about it the first chance he gets, but for now, in this moment and after this crazy, wonderful talk they’ve had, he’s going to believe Eskild completely. “Well, I guess... if for no other reason...”

“Yes, if for no other reason,” Eskild repeats, and sighs lazily as he sits up straight and reaches back toward his nightstand. He pulls open the top drawer and rummages inside without looking at the contents, and after a moment his hand emerges, clutching a fistful of condom wrappers. “Here,” he says, picking up Isak’s hand with his free one and pushing the whole lot into it, the plastic crinkling loudly. “Just to start you out. But go buy your own fucking box. And make Even buy some too,” he adds, pointing an accusing finger in Isak’s face.

“Okay,” Isak mumbles, almost ashamed, definitely mortified. He’s staring down at the wrappers - at least a dozen of them - and is only now wondering how on earth to even begin this conversation with Even. “I don’t know why we haven’t been using them,” he says, and looks back up at Eskild with as much dignity as he can muster. “Our first time was just... I wasn’t expecting it, really, and it just sort of happened, and I didn’t think about it and Even didn’t say anything, and neither of us said anything any of the times after that, and I don’t know why.” 

“Well, maybe he just feels the same way you do,” Eskild says gently. “That there isn’t any need to because there’s no reason to worry. That’s probably it, actually.”

Isak nods and lets out a slightly shuddering breath. “I feel really stupid.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry. This is all brand-new and shit, and you’re in love. Don’t feel stupid.”

“Okay. I’m definitely going to talk to him about this, though.” He raises his filled hand briefly, and suddenly he really wants to leave Eskild’s room, to stash these things someplace safe and try not to think for a little while. “Thank you,” he says, standing up as quickly as he can without appearing rude. “Seriously, thank you for these and for the talk and - and everything.” He truly means it, and tries his best to convey that while awkwardly clutching ten million condoms to his stomach.

“You’re welcome. Like I said, I’m always here.”

\-------------

See, it’s not as though Isak _forgets_ to bring it up to Even. He’s totally planning to, but when it turns out that they have the apartment all to themselves for the entire night and watching a movie in the living room somehow leads to hardcore making out right there on the sofa, it’s easy to understand how he just gets caught up in the moment.

He doesn’t quite know how this happened, but all of a sudden he realizes that he’s straddling Even’s lap, both hands coiled into Even’s hair as he kisses him with everything he has. Even’s left hand is on Isak’s hip, his fingers digging in so tightly that it's almost painful, but Isak’s not about to say a word, especially since Even has slipped his right hand under Isak’s shirt at some point and is stroking his back, and just that tiny bit of skin to skin contact is driving Isak _crazy._ In a minute he’s going to yank both of their shirts over their heads and he’s honestly not sure if they’ll make it to his room.

Even’s lips are now making their way down Isak’s throat, and Isak tips his head back with a soft moan, still clutching at Even’s hair and letting out little gasping breaths. He hasn’t even noticed that he’s begun to rock his hips against Even’s, the friction between them steadily increasing in tandem with how hard Even sucks at his neck. Isak has to bite his lip to keep from starting to plead for more - sometimes his mouth will just betray him and the words come spilling out like that. He’s starting to think Even likes it more than he lets on, though.

Now Even’s mouth is at Isak’s ear, his lips closing around the lobe for a few shivering seconds before he hears Even speak to him, his voice so dangerously low and sexy that Isak can’t actually comprehend the words at first.

“What do you want tonight?”

That simple question sends Isak’s brain spinning. The wealth of possible answers at his fingertips... A shudder moves through him from head to toes and his hands involuntarily contract in Even’s hair (he doesn’t really mean to pull so hard, it just _happens_ ), and it’s a few seconds before he can even begin to think about forming words.

...And then he remembers. Fuck.

His whole body sags against Even’s all at once and it’s impossible for Even not to notice, nor could it be mistaken for anything than what it is - the train screeching to a halt to make an unexpected stop.

“Baby?” Even asks, his voice full of concern and zero trace of annoyance. That alone makes Isak let out a tiny whine, and he reluctantly sits back, locking his fingers together at the back of Even’s neck so he can still touch as much of him as possible.

He sighs heavily, then licks his lips and just dives right in. “I gave Eskild that lube today, and we ended up having a talk. About you and me.” He winces, shaking his head. “About our sex life,” he clarifies, almost wanting to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

“...Oh,” is all Even says in response, and Isak’s eyes immediately snap open. He rushes to kiss Even, wanting to reassure him as quickly as he can.

“It wasn’t bad,” he murmurs between kisses. “I promise. It was kind of surreal and awkward but it was _fine._ ”

“Okay,” Even replies softly, but he’s obviously still so on edge, and Isak wants to kick himself.

“Just... God, this is embarrassing to say. He ended up getting kind of pissed at me because I told him we’re not using condoms.” Isak bites his lower lip and stares down at Even, praying that he doesn’t get angry.

To his relief, Even just smiles ruefully. “Ah,” he says, and lets his head loll back on the sofa’s headrest, gazing at Isak through half-closed eyes. “Yeah, I wondered when we’d get around to discussing that.”

“I told him the truth,” Isak mumbles. “That we’ve just never talked about it and that I don’t know why.”

“Is it a problem for you? I mean, _has_ it been? Do you wish we’d been using something?”

“Not at all,” Isak assures him, and leans down to kiss the corner of Even’s mouth. “I didn’t really think about it before today, because - like I told Eskild - I don’t think we have to worry about... about STDs or anything.” He doesn’t intend to say the next thing - it’s just his stupid mouth charging forward again before it checks with his brain. “Do we?”

Even gives him a look that’s half exasperated, half genuine affection. “ _No,_ ” he says firmly, cupping Isak’s face between his hands. “No,” he repeats. “Unless they’ve suddenly become airborne or something.”

Isak can’t help letting out a sigh of real relief. “Thank you,” he whispers, and turns his head slightly to press a kiss to one of Even’s palms. 

“I’ve never been with anyone but her and you,” Even goes on, now gently brushing his fingers through Isak’s hair. “And as far as I know she never cheated on me.”

“Did you two use...?”

“At first we did, but she got on the pill after we’d been together for about a year and there wasn’t really any need for condoms after that, since, like I said, we were totally faithful. But listen,” Even says, sitting up so he can lean his forehead against Isak’s. “If you want us to start, that’s okay.”

“Kind of,” Isak says quietly. “He gave me some and practically threatened to count the empties later in the week.” They both laugh at that, and Isak kisses him twice before adding, “Just... Eskild got me thinking about it, and I think we should at least go get checked out. I trust you, I just...”

“Okay,” Even replies, nodding. “It’s not a bad idea, anyway. Just for practicality.”

Isak’s so grateful that this didn’t turn into an argument that he can’t help planting tiny soft kisses all over Even’s face for a few moments, and when he finally stops and tilts their foreheads together again, he has to laugh a little, feeling much more at ease. “Oh, and he also told me that wearing one would, uh.” He can’t stop a snort from escaping him before he goes on. “Help me last longer.”

He fully expects Even to start laughing too, but he’s totally silent. Paranoia rushes in and Isak sits back, staring at him in something close to horror. “Oh God,” he moans, eyes wide. “You think I’m too fast, don’t you? You hate it.”

“No!” Even closes his hands around Isak’s cheeks again, trying to draw him closer. “Not - not exactly, I just... well, he’s right, it will help, but I’m not _complaining_ or anything.”

“How long do I last?” Isak asks miserably.

“Baby, I don’t know,” Even says, clearly trying to be soothing, but Isak can’t really appreciate it. “I kind of lose track of time, don’t you?” Isak doesn’t answer, just keeps staring at him, dimly aware that he might actually be pouting. “A minute or two? If I had to guess?”

“Is that _all?_ ” Jesus, that sounds utterly pathetic. “I _know_ you take longer than that.” And yes, of course he knows that Even’s had several years of learning to control it, but _still._

“It’s okay though, I promise! Listen, do you want to sit here and try to guess how long two minutes actually is? Set a timer?”

“No,” Isak replies, practically biting the word off. “Do you wish it lasted longer?”

“I-- sometimes, I guess, sure--”

Isak rolls his eyes and cuts him off with a huff. “I’m totally wearing one from now on. Maybe two, will that help more?”

“Isak,” Even sighs, shaking his head and looking up at him with a tired smile. “I’m telling you, it’s really okay. You’re - you’re learning, you know? I have absolutely no problem helping you to do that - I _love_ that I get to do it. Shit, I’m learning too! Obviously I’ve never been with a guy before and there’s a lot of differences, and we get to figure those things out _together._ ” 

Oh, that’s _unfair._ Isak actually whimpers, all the tension immediately flowing out of him, and he leans forward, laying his chest against Even’s, their cheeks pressed together. “We do, don’t we?” he murmurs.

Even kisses his jaw, and replies very softly, “I think I love that part the most.” Isak melts into him a little more, sliding both arms around his neck, and hears Even hum contentedly as he hugs Isak closer. 

They just sit like that in silence for a few minutes, one or the other occasionally turning their head enough to kiss a cheek or an ear. Isak cherishes these moments when neither of them have to speak at all, when they can simply share each other’s space and not feel the need to fill it with words. They’ve been lucky enough to have these times from the very beginning - or maybe it isn’t luck at all, but just the way things were always supposed to be.

Soon, of course, those brief and tender kisses begin to stretch out and grow more urgent. As much as he’s enjoyed straddling Even’s lap, Isak doesn’t mind a bit when Even lifts him by the hips and lays him on his back across the sofa, actually rather loving the sensation of Even’s full weight holding him down.

He’s pressing his hips insistently up against Even’s, his kisses becoming messy as he starts to just _drown_ in everything Even is giving him. It’s nearly always like this - Even so strong and in total control of himself while Isak all but flails, almost helpless against the tide of his own eagerness to please, to feel and taste and just inhale every last bit. It’s sort of terrifying, being so fucking needy and wild, but Even catches him each time, soothes him with soft words and touches, steadies him with kisses until he can breathe easy again. 

“So I’m gonna ask again,” Even is saying now, tracing a fingertip down Isak’s cheek and across his lips. “What do you want?”

And Isak doesn’t have to think about it; he just hears his voice speaking the words entirely on its own. “I want your dick in my mouth,” he says - _declares._ “And then I want mine in your ass.”

“Oh fuck, please,” Even replies, flashing him that brilliant smile before heaving himself off the sofa, off of Isak, and Isak barely has time to regret the sudden chill before Even has grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. 

Once the bedroom door is safely locked behind them, Even backs off from trying to keep Isak calm and focused, just standing still as Isak strips off their clothes. Isak’s erratic, no rhyme or reason to it - a piece of his own clothing, a quick kiss or two, then two of Even’s, two of his own, now pausing for a thick, heavy kiss and tugging at Even’s jeans while their lips are still connected. And when Isak squats to pull Even’s jeans from his legs, he can feel Even smiling slyly down at him, as if he’s surprised and impressed that his boyfriend can actually do these things. _Fuck_ him.

He looks up, his chest heaving and his jaw hanging slack. Even raises both eyebrows at him and Isak reads it as a challenge, a _show me what you got,_ and okay, fine. 

He keeps their eyes locked as he lowers himself to his knees, a hand on each of Even’s hips for balance. Still not breaking the eye contact, he starts pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses to Even’s thighs, his lower belly... skating the tip of his tongue around his navel and down, down. He’s daring Even to close his eyes first, to fucking surrender for once. He’s not going to be insecure about his blowjob skills anymore - he’s _great_ at this, goddammit, and he’s going to make sure Even knows it. “Try to stay standing the whole time,” he whispers, and doesn’t give Even a chance to reply before closing his lips around the head of Even’s cock, smiling around it when he hears the shocked gasp somewhere above him.

Isak’s fingers wrap around the base as he just sucks gently, not sliding lower just yet, wanting to tease... but it’s only a few seconds before Even’s hands wind into his hair and although they don’t exactly _push_ Isak’s brain registers it anyway, and he lets out a deep breath through his nose as he pulls Even deeper into his mouth, as deep as he can, and when he has to actually squeeze Even’s hip to keep him from falling over, he knows he’s done something very, very right.

Even’s letting out this gorgeous string of moans while Isak sucks him, and Isak just feels _fearless._ He draws his mouth away entirely, teasing him with little kisses to the tip and running the flat of his tongue up the side before pulling him all the way back in again, and he actually makes himself cough _but Even doesn’t care,_ muttering Isak’s name and cursing and tugging at his hair... all those secret, shameful hours of porn-watching are _so_ paying off right now.

“Let me lie down,” Even gasps, whining as he slips a hand under Isak’s chin to move him away. Isak grins up at him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and just tilts his head toward the bed behind them, silently giving permission.

Even stumbles a little in his haste and Isak almost snorts, his heart _racing_ now, his whole body thrumming with pride. He gives Even just enough time to stretch out on his back before climbing onto the bed with him, pressing frantic kisses down Even’s body and then settling between his thighs, dropping a slow wink up at Even as he pulls his cock between his lips again.

This way is infinitely easier - he can reach up to stroke Even’s chest and gently roll a nipple in his fingers without having to worry about balance. Because he wants to touch every single inch of him while he does this, no longer singularly concerned about what his mouth is doing and if it’s good enough, and neither of his hands ever stop moving over Even’s skin. And Even’s cock is just so beautiful, and tastes and feels so damn _perfect,_ and how could he have ever been afraid of this?

The only part he’s not sure about is when he needs to stop, because there’s no way Even is going to come yet, not if Isak is in charge of it. So he’s sort of surprised when Even actually makes him stop, mumbling that he’s too close, but Isak just sits up with a smile, licking his lips and gently rubbing Even’s thigh. “If you insist,” he says softly, and drapes his body over Even’s, holding himself up to just gaze down at him for a moment. Even’s face is flushed and sweaty, completely gorgeous, and it takes Isak a few seconds to come to grips with the fact that it’s because of him.

Even’s eyes are still shut, his lashes wet and dark against his skin, and when Isak dips lower to kiss him, he has to smile at the low, surprised moan this pulls from Even’s throat. “Gonna make it?” he whispers, smoothing Even’s hair back, and Even nods, letting out a slow breath before opening his eyes at last. The smile he gives Isak is so sweet that Isak almost abandons his plan to knock Even out with what’s coming next. 

“Mhm,” Even sighs, and then frowns a little. “Wait, I already answered you, didn’t I?”

Isak giggles. “You nodded a minute ago, yeah.”

“Sorry, my brain’s mush,” Even says. “Where’d you learn to _do_ that?”

“From you, obviously.”

Even widens his eyes at him, laughing as he slowly shakes his head. “I’m nowhere near that good,” he whispers, and tugs Isak’s head down to kiss him. And yeah, Isak knows he’s partly just trying to boost his ego, but he doesn’t care. He lets himself get lost in the kiss for a little while, relaxing his full weight on top of Even, and of course their bodies start to betray them soon, hips rocking and Isak’s dick sliding alongside Even’s, slotting together just right. Even’s moaning against his mouth now, clutching at Isak’s ass to bring him as close as possible, and Isak’s going to come all over him if they’re not careful, so he forces himself to pull back.

“Do you want me to finger you first?” he asks, reaching for the lube and feeling so fucking _adult_ for some weird reason, and even more so when Even shakes his head with a little whimper, clearly as ready and eager as Isak himself could ever be. “Okayyyy,” he says, and stretches his arm toward the nightstand again to grab a condom as well.

The only moment when his confidence starts to slip is when he struggles a bit with rolling the condom on. “Should’ve practiced,” he mutters, hastily wiping sweat out of his eyes and biting his lip in concentration.

Without a word, Even closes his fingers over Isak’s and guides them. When it’s all done, Isak gives him a grateful kiss, letting his lips linger for a few seconds. “It’s been a long time since I put one on, too,” Even whispers, stroking Isak’s hair back from his forehead.

Isak exhales slowly, closing his eyes. “How different will it feel?” he asks, since Even’s opinion is the only one that matters.

“Not too much, I don’t think. But girls feel different anyway, so I’m not really sure.”

He cracks one eye open, smirking. “You had to remind me?”

Even laughs. “You asked!”

“I know, I know.” Isak drops a kiss to his mouth, then brushes his lips across Even’s cheek and back again. “Will it feel any different for you, though?” he asks, genuinely worried about this. His own pleasure is always, always secondary when he’s inside of Even.

But Even just smiles up at him. “Stop talking and let’s find out.”

His hand shakes a little as he lubes himself up and even more so when he presses two slick fingers inside Even to get him ready as well. What if this ridiculous piece of latex doesn’t help at all and he still comes embarrassingly quickly? Or - oh God, this is just now occurring to him - what if it takes him _forever_ and Even gets sore and pissed and finally pushes him off and Isak has to go live in a fucking cave to hide from the entire world? 

Either Even can literally read his mind or he’s the greatest boyfriend ever and can just sense that Isak is starting to spiral, because he wraps his hand around the back of Isak’s neck and pulls him down for a kiss, telling him quietly that he’s beautiful, that he _loves_ him. Isak is still trembling, but he draws as much strength as he can from Even’s words, holding his breath as he slowly starts to slide into him.

He always loves watching Even during this moment. He loves watching him the entire time, but _this..._ Isak has to force his eyes to stay open, drinking in every tiny flutter of eyelashes, every twitch of Even’s mouth, every gasp, every shiver. He’s so _hot,_ so tender and vulnerable, and Isak never wants it to end. And thankfully, this time he can concentrate better, because Eskild was right - it still feels incredible, but it isn’t quite as overwhelming as usual. 

Once he’s all the way inside and they can both just stay still for a minute, Isak lowers his head to whisper directly into Even’s ear. “Thank you.” And he knows that Even knows exactly why.

He’d had this all planned out - he was going to stick with taking charge and just completely wow Even by fucking his brains out, having convinced himself he’d be able to since the sensations would be less. There’s no way that can happen now, though. No, he’d rather stay close to Even than sit up, would rather rock slowly in and out of him, keep running his lips and the tip of his tongue over his neck and shoulders, and swallow Even’s moans as he kisses him. They have plenty of time to try other things. Right now, Isak wants to just be present, to revel in the utter gift of this moment. 

“Good?” he murmurs after a little while - way longer than two minutes, he’s almost positive - and Even nods, nearly breathless in spite of the slow and easy pace Isak’s set. “Do you want more? What can I do?” he asks, pressing kisses to Even’s cheeks. “Tell me, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Just--” Even bites his lip, shuddering out a breath, and squeezes his eyes shut. “Can you-- harder? Pull out more and then back in like-- _fuck, like that._ ” Because Isak has already done it, shifted his hips back as far as he dares and doesn’t hesitate on his way back in, and for a second he can’t even _see._

“More,” Even pleads, bucking his hips up to meet Isak’s. “Please, _please,_ I love you _so much..._ ”

Isak braces himself up with one hand, wanting to still be able to stroke Even’s skin with the other one, and begins to move faster, doing just as Even has asked him and more. Even’s body is throbbing around him, deliciously tight, warm and silky and utterly perfect, and just as Isak finds the right rhythm Even knocks things askew by squeezing his hand between them to wrap around his dick. 

Never before has Isak wished so hard for the flexibility to be able to both fuck Even and suck him off at the same time. “Can you wait for me?” he asks, panting now. “I’m not-- it won’t be long, just not yet, _please,_ baby.”

Even just whines and nods in response, and Isak leans as close as he dares to kiss him, just barely able to brush his mouth over Even’s. Then he drops his eyes to watch Even’s hand, gasping at his long fingers and the sight of the head of his cock so shiny and wet, and he pushes into Even as deep as he can, straining, twitching his hips hard without sliding out of him. And Even cries out loudly, almost a sob, his hand suddenly stilling and his whole body tensing up, gripping Isak’s cock so hard that Isak can hardly _breathe,_ condom or not, and then Even’s coming, _everywhere,_ all over both of them, and Isak can’t take it, moaning uncontrollably as his orgasm slams into him, through him, and his one tiny regret is that Even can’t feel it as he normally can, but it’s clearly okay because Even reaches up to yank him down, clinging to him and kissing him with such force that Isak can’t help just collapsing onto him, giving in completely.

They’re a total mess, sweat and come all over the place, and then there’s the unintentionally hilarious moment of getting the condom off - Isak gapes at the amount of fluid inside, tying it closed with shaking fingers and flinging it across the room in horror while Even laughs so hard beside him that Isak is afraid he’ll choke or something. “That was _gross,_ I’m sorry,” Isak says, snuggling in close to Even’s side and smiling in spite of himself. “It looks so much better when it just goes everywhere.”

Even hums, still giggling, and kisses his forehead. “It really does,” he agrees. “Especially yours... do you have any idea-- well, I guess you do _now._ You come so much, every time. It’s really flattering.”

Isak groans into Even’s shoulder, then tips his head back to look up at him. “Could you still feel it?” 

“I could sense it, yeah.”

“Because I think that was the only thing I didn’t like,” Isak goes on. “When you come in me it’s like... I don’t even know how to tell you. Just...” He shakes his head, shrugging. “Do you know what I mean?”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Even whispers. “I think the only thing that might be better than that is you coming _on_ me instead of inside.”

Isak throat goes completely dry, his brain stuttering to a near-total halt as Even’s words echo in his ears - what a fantastic fucking idea. He licks his lips discreetly and tucks his head into the side of Even’s neck to hide his smile, because that is _definitely_ something he’ll be filing away for later. 

“Oh, by the way,” Even says now, sleepiness already starting to creep around the edges of his voice. “Earlier, when you were sitting on my lap out there?”

“Yeah?”

“ _Yeah._ I want that. For you to ride me sometime. Soon.”

Isak has barely had a chance to recover from the last thing and now Even’s throwing this shit at him, Jesus. “On the sofa?” he blurts out.

“On the sofa, on the bed, wherever. I just keep thinking about your legs wrapped around my waist and me being able to hold your hips down while I fuck up into you.”

“You’re trying to kill me,” Isak whispers, and doesn’t even crack a smile when Even laughs. “I’m serious. We have so much time for everything...”

“Yes, but don’t you know how much _everything_ really is?”

He has an inkling, sure, but he’s perfectly willing and eager to learn. What better teacher could he ask for?

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](http://dahlstrom.tumblr.com)!


End file.
